Humility

As I thus get down to my right size and stature, my self-concern and importance become amusing. The faith grows that I do have a place on this Highway to Humility; that I can advance on it with deepening peace and confidence.
-The Language of the Heart, p. 259.

Learning is the very essence of humility; the two walk hand in hand.
O D A A T = One Day At A Time.


Hi everyone I’m Venki an Greatfull Recovering Alcoholic. Early on, I told my AA  friend  that going to meetings was a humbling Experience. He smiled back and said, “Well that is the whole purpose of AA!” It has taken 3 months for me to decipher his answer. 
It means to me now that the biggest problem I faced as an Alcoholic was my Oversized EGO. The Program ‘Right sizes it,' if you will. Now humility keeps me in check -- away from the first drink. What else does this program teach me? It teaches me to grow up emotionally and to finally become a responsible adult. That means no more childish behavior, no more being overly emotionally sensitive and, of course, no more grandiosity. I can't fix everything and everyone. Two wrongs do not make a right. I need to act responsibly according to each and every situation. No more lame excuses -- no more excuses, period.

Violence

The relationship between alcohol or other substance abuse and domestic violence is complicated. A prevailing myth about domestic violence is that alcohol and drugs are the major causes of domestic abuse. In reality, some abusers rely on substance use and abuse as an excuse for becoming violent. Alcohol allows the abuser to justify his abusive behavior as a result of the alcohol. While an abuser’s use of alcohol may have an effect on the severity of the abuse or the ease with which the abuser can justify his actions, an abuser does not become violent “because” drinking causes him to lose control of his temper. As described more fully in the section on theories of violence, domestic violence is used to exert power and control over another; it does not represent a loss of control.

Understanding some of the theories that have been advanced to explain the substance-violence relationship can, however, help advocates design interventions that can increase women’s safety and help men choose non-violence. Most importantly, domestic violence and substance abuse should be understood and treated as independent problems: “The reduction of one problem to the familiar language and interventions of the other problem is ill-advised.” At the same time, because the relationship between substance abuse and domestic violence is complex, institutions that address these problems together must be capable of managing their complexity.

Alcohol does affect the user’s ability to perceive, integrate and process information. This distortion in the user’s thinking does not cause violence, but may increase the risk that the user will misinterpret his partner or another’s behavior.

Some research indicates that a large quantity of alcohol, or any quantity for alcoholics, can increase the user’s sense of personal power and domination over others. An increased sense of power and control can, in turn, make it more likely that an abuser will attempt to exercise that power and control over another.

Violence may be triggered by conflict over alcohol use or in the process of obtaining and using substances, particularly illegal drugs.

Substance abuse may increase the aggressive response of individuals with low levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin. There is, however, still “no evidence that batterers are ‘hard wired’ for violence, nor that their socialization or choice-making processes are not operational when using substances.” there may be a correlation between the risk of domestic violence and certain personality characteristics. For example, alcohol abuse may increase the risk of violence in men who think abuse of women is appropriate and are also under socioeconomic hardship.

Parental substance abuse and parental domestic violence increase the chances that a child will grow up to be an abuser and/or a substance abuser.

The average amount of alcohol consumed prior to the use of violence was only a few drinks, which “suggests that the act of drinking may be more related to woman abuse than the effect of alcohol. drug use is more strongly correlated to domestic violence than is alcohol.