Miracles

The practical answer is that since these things have happened among us,
they can happen with you. Should you wish them above all else, and be willing to make use of our experience, we are sure they will come. The age of miracles is still with us. Our own recovery proves that!
- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 153.

" If "

Alcoholism respects no ifs. It does not go away, not for a week, for a day, or even for an hour, leaving us nonalcoholic and able to drink again
on some special occasion or for some extraordinary reason, not even if it is a once-in-a-lifetime celebration, or a big sorrow hits us, or if it rains in Spain or the stars fall on Alabama. Alcoholism is for us unconditional, with no exceptions at any price.
- Living Sober, p. 63

 If I don't drink today, I have the hope of a tomorrow. Don't give up before the miracle happens.

I'm venki, and I am an greatfull recovering alcoholic. I'm thinking about miracles. We are truly blessed in AA. Those of us who are members of AA get to hear about miracles almost daily. Amazing stories! And I carry a little piece of those stories in my heart now, all the time. 
From the depths of true despair most people never even see in a lifetime, to being joyful, happy and actually productive members of society that's what AA does for people. I have experienced some miracles in my life that I could not begin to explain away by any logical reasoning. I knew too even when I was in the middle of it, I was in the presence of something big, unfathomable, powerful, and completely safe and loving. I hate it when someone describes having seen a "burning bush," because my own was nothing like a vision, really. It was a deep, deep knowing. If you've ever experienced it, you'll know what I mean. There's no mistaking it; it's undeniable. But I see small miracles a lot in life, too. I've learned to stay awake and keep looking. Just sobering up for me was just such an experience. 
I sure didn't see sobriety coming. one day I slept out, as usual. Nothing really special had happened , just another drunk, another day, another grueling and hideous day of drinking. And that morning, I was stunned and wake up knowing that I'm sober. It's over. It wasn't a decision, or a "Gee, it's a dreem at the point of time i decided I should get help here." I just woke up and knew. I haven't had to have a drink since that morning. I don't pretend that experience is enough. I am an alcoholic, with all that goes with that. So, it's a daily program here for this gal. I know better than to think that my well-being doesn't need to be maintained. But during tha first year of sobriety, there were so many stressful challenges that my councilor  was afraid for me from time to time.  he used to say, "venkatash, things can change in a blink of an eye. Don't forget that." And really, how could I forget? After all, I was sober in a blink of an eye, too. My way of saying it is, "Don't count God out." We know so very little.
I created this section, the Miracle that is me, to tell my own story in life, which has become a miracle for me. It was meant in my mind to cover more my past that brought me to this point in life, and as I said in my introduction, that all of you should write your own stories of your journey in life and your personal miracles. I considered also creating a section to journal in from time to time, my daily experiences that have some sort of merit and teaching. I realize tonight I don’t need a separate section to journal in this manner, because my life is still being written, and the miracle that is me continues to grow personally. I have thought numerous times of journaling publicly, but usually I back off and plain forget, thinking sometimes maybe the story isn’t significant enough to share, but a growing life is about all the little things too.

Humility

As I thus get down to my right size and stature, my self-concern and importance become amusing. The faith grows that I do have a place on this Highway to Humility; that I can advance on it with deepening peace and confidence.
-The Language of the Heart, p. 259.

Learning is the very essence of humility; the two walk hand in hand.
O D A A T = One Day At A Time.


Hi everyone I’m Venki an Greatfull Recovering Alcoholic. Early on, I told my AA  friend  that going to meetings was a humbling Experience. He smiled back and said, “Well that is the whole purpose of AA!” It has taken 3 months for me to decipher his answer. 
It means to me now that the biggest problem I faced as an Alcoholic was my Oversized EGO. The Program ‘Right sizes it,' if you will. Now humility keeps me in check -- away from the first drink. What else does this program teach me? It teaches me to grow up emotionally and to finally become a responsible adult. That means no more childish behavior, no more being overly emotionally sensitive and, of course, no more grandiosity. I can't fix everything and everyone. Two wrongs do not make a right. I need to act responsibly according to each and every situation. No more lame excuses -- no more excuses, period.

Violence

The relationship between alcohol or other substance abuse and domestic violence is complicated. A prevailing myth about domestic violence is that alcohol and drugs are the major causes of domestic abuse. In reality, some abusers rely on substance use and abuse as an excuse for becoming violent. Alcohol allows the abuser to justify his abusive behavior as a result of the alcohol. While an abuser’s use of alcohol may have an effect on the severity of the abuse or the ease with which the abuser can justify his actions, an abuser does not become violent “because” drinking causes him to lose control of his temper. As described more fully in the section on theories of violence, domestic violence is used to exert power and control over another; it does not represent a loss of control.

Understanding some of the theories that have been advanced to explain the substance-violence relationship can, however, help advocates design interventions that can increase women’s safety and help men choose non-violence. Most importantly, domestic violence and substance abuse should be understood and treated as independent problems: “The reduction of one problem to the familiar language and interventions of the other problem is ill-advised.” At the same time, because the relationship between substance abuse and domestic violence is complex, institutions that address these problems together must be capable of managing their complexity.

Alcohol does affect the user’s ability to perceive, integrate and process information. This distortion in the user’s thinking does not cause violence, but may increase the risk that the user will misinterpret his partner or another’s behavior.

Some research indicates that a large quantity of alcohol, or any quantity for alcoholics, can increase the user’s sense of personal power and domination over others. An increased sense of power and control can, in turn, make it more likely that an abuser will attempt to exercise that power and control over another.

Violence may be triggered by conflict over alcohol use or in the process of obtaining and using substances, particularly illegal drugs.

Substance abuse may increase the aggressive response of individuals with low levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin. There is, however, still “no evidence that batterers are ‘hard wired’ for violence, nor that their socialization or choice-making processes are not operational when using substances.” there may be a correlation between the risk of domestic violence and certain personality characteristics. For example, alcohol abuse may increase the risk of violence in men who think abuse of women is appropriate and are also under socioeconomic hardship.

Parental substance abuse and parental domestic violence increase the chances that a child will grow up to be an abuser and/or a substance abuser.

The average amount of alcohol consumed prior to the use of violence was only a few drinks, which “suggests that the act of drinking may be more related to woman abuse than the effect of alcohol. drug use is more strongly correlated to domestic violence than is alcohol.

Higher Power

When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us
when we put ourselves in God's hands
were better than anything we could have planned.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 100.

Take a walk with God; He will meet you at the Steps.
G O D = Good Orderly Direction.

 

Hi everyone, I'm Venki, a grateful Recovering Alcoholic. When I came to AA, I was drinking 3 to 4 quarter's a day. 2 to 3 day's  A week if I do'nt come to AA Don't know whare  I'll be to day,

 I was dying, and coughing,when i came to rehab. If they don't mentioned God to me I would freak out, but in the 12 Steps I learned what I needed to have a higher power, and that would be the God of my understanding. I believe.

If they told me to believe in green frogs from Mars I would have..! -__ but God...?

What I came to see as my journey started 6 months ago. I would have little moments where I would think "I wonder what that means.?"  A few minutes later, or sometimes a day later, I would get an answer.

Yesterday I was sitting here and realized I still fear complete surrender to my Higher Power -- that ‘giving it my all’ kind of thing. And I saw how many delusional, judgmental, negative things I hang onto. 

I thought I need to work on becoming more comfortable. I began to remember the times my Higher Power has pulled me through some really trying times, and then I'd forget all about it. I found myself compelled to listen when I heard someone say.

"When we make someone smaller than ourselves, or lessen them, we can immediately justify anything we want." 

It still takes my breath away, because that was me. All this time I have unintentionally made people smaller in my mind. Then I started to see the full scope of how negative towards people I can be; and I know better. That triggered me to really stop and take a breath. It was a humbling, ego-deflating moment. Through sheer accident, I’d put me on a pedestal and didn't realize I was doing it.

I was flabbergasted, and found myself yet again falling into deep gratitude. My Higher Power rocks.! He knows just how to put something in front of me to gently teach me. 

He gives it to me in a way I can understand, digest it, and grow from it.

Loneliness

As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm,
the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding, companionship and approval. Momentarily we did  -- then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen -- Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand.!
- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 151.

Happiness and peace of mind are always here, open and free to anyone.
Y A N A = You Are Not Alone.