Dealing with“Fear”
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Fear
Dealing with“Fear”
Fear is more than emotion for most people
entering recovery. There is the dread that they will begin to experience the
same life occurrences that brought them to the gates of recovery. Repeating
those situations brings a sense of impending doom that is very familiar and one
of the reasons for escaping into the addiction.
Learning to walk through fear into a new way of
life is the path of recovery. Every situation which was reason or cause for
escape becomes a challenge. For someone new in recovery, it is a daunting one.
Few have experienced the other side of a fearful situation without relapsing
back into that behavior. Recognizing fear when it comes into play is important.
Many newly recovering people do not know how to identify their fear, will deny
they are afraid or cannot bring themselves to admit when afraid of…a job interview,
a test of any kind, the dentist, the doctor, going to court, facing their
families, working through a troublesome marriage problem, a wedding, a
funeral…the list is endless.
An understanding sponsor and friends are
necessary to help bolster the courage of this person. They will gain a great
deal of strength as they master each intimidating situation and come through it
without falling back into old patterns of either avoidance and/or escape via
addictive behaviors.
For some reason, fear is the most powerful
emotion that recovering people will deal with. There is terror in life that not
everyone experiences, but is the common thread running through most addicts’
lives. When kept to oneself, it becomes gigantic and impossible for any one
person to overcome. If they do not learn to talk about their feelings, this is
the one that can wipe them out. Historically, chances are good that their only
source of courage and fortitude came from an addictive substance or behavior.
Without that, they will become immobilized and frozen in fear, unable to
participate in life at any level.
Dwelling in fear can become the onset of phobic
behaviors for many recovering people. Their silence is a deadly foe that needs
fresh air to be vanquished. Working in recovery requires a great deal of
honesty in discussing fear and what it feels like. Admitting to silly fears
that most people laugh at helps newly recovering individuals relate to some of
their silly fears and to gain mastery over them by walking through their fear, rather
than to succumb to frozen nonparticipation in the life going on around them.
Without their substance or behavior of choice,
many will not even know how to recognize the impact that fear has had on their
lives. Some will not admit to having felt fear, and many will continue this
bluff for some time after they begin their recovery. Like whistling in the dark
like fear is not present, they will bluster and bluff their way through
situations or avoid them altogether, thus never benefitting from learning to
share their fear, air their fear and then walk right through the vanishing
cloud left behind. This is the gateway into real recovery.
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