ನೀವೇನಂತೀರ

Fear

Dealing with“Fear”

Fear is more than emotion for most people entering recovery. There is the dread that they will begin to experience the same life occurrences that brought them to the gates of recovery. Repeating those situations brings a sense of impending doom that is very familiar and one of the reasons for escaping into the addiction.

 

Learning to walk through fear into a new way of life is the path of recovery. Every situation which was reason or cause for escape becomes a challenge. For someone new in recovery, it is a daunting one. Few have experienced the other side of a fearful situation without relapsing back into that behavior. Recognizing fear when it comes into play is important. Many newly recovering people do not know how to identify their fear, will deny they are afraid or cannot bring themselves to admit when afraid of…a job interview, a test of any kind, the dentist, the doctor, going to court, facing their families, working through a troublesome marriage problem, a wedding, a funeral…the list is endless.

 

An understanding sponsor and friends are necessary to help bolster the courage of this person. They will gain a great deal of strength as they master each intimidating situation and come through it without falling back into old patterns of either avoidance and/or escape via addictive behaviors.

 

For some reason, fear is the most powerful emotion that recovering people will deal with. There is terror in life that not everyone experiences, but is the common thread running through most addicts’ lives. When kept to oneself, it becomes gigantic and impossible for any one person to overcome. If they do not learn to talk about their feelings, this is the one that can wipe them out. Historically, chances are good that their only source of courage and fortitude came from an addictive substance or behavior. Without that, they will become immobilized and frozen in fear, unable to participate in life at any level.

 

Dwelling in fear can become the onset of phobic behaviors for many recovering people. Their silence is a deadly foe that needs fresh air to be vanquished. Working in recovery requires a great deal of honesty in discussing fear and what it feels like. Admitting to silly fears that most people laugh at helps newly recovering individuals relate to some of their silly fears and to gain mastery over them by walking through their fear, rather than to succumb to frozen nonparticipation in the life going on around them.

 

Without their substance or behavior of choice, many will not even know how to recognize the impact that fear has had on their lives. Some will not admit to having felt fear, and many will continue this bluff for some time after they begin their recovery. Like whistling in the dark like fear is not present, they will bluster and bluff their way through situations or avoid them altogether, thus never benefitting from learning to share their fear, air their fear and then walk right through the vanishing cloud left behind. This is the gateway into real recovery.

ನುಂಗುವ ಇಚ್ಚೆಯಿದ್ದರೆ ಸಿಟ್ಟನ್ನೇ ನುಂಗು

ಸ್ವೀಕರಿಸುವ ಮನಸಿದ್ದರೆ ಸದ್ಗುಣಗಳನ್ನು ಸ್ವೀಕರಿಸು

ಈಜುವ ಮನಸಿದ್ದರೆ ಜ್ಞಾನ ಸಾಗರದಲ್ಲಿ ಈಜು

ನಡೆಯುವ ಮನಸಿದ್ದರೆ ಸನ್ಮಾರ್ಗದಲ್ಲಿ ನಡೆ

ಮಾತನಾಡುವುದಿದ್ದರೆ ಸತ್ಯವನ್ನೇ ಮಾತನಾಡು

ಹಾಡುವುದಿದ್ದರೆ ಅನುಭವದ ಮಾತುಗಳನ್ನೇ ಹಾಡು

ಕೇಳುವುದಿದ್ದರೆ ಸದುಪದೇಶಗಳನ್ನು ಕೇಳು

ದೊರಕಿಸುವುದಿದ್ದರೆ ಜಯವನ್ನೇ ದೊರಕಿಸು

ನುಂಗುವ ಇಚ್ಚೆಯಿದ್ದರೆ ಸಿಟ್ಟನ್ನೇ ನುಂಗು

ನುಂಗುವ ಇಚ್ಚೆಯಿದ್ದರೆ ಸಿಟ್ಟನ್ನೇ ನುಂಗು

 

 

ಕುಡುಕನಿಗಾಗಿ ಕವಿವಾಣಿ

" ಸೇಂದಿಯನು ಸೇವಿಪನು ಹಂದಿಯಂತಿರುತಿಹನು,

ಹಂದಿಯೊಂದೆಡೆ ಉಪಕಾರಿ,

ಕುಡುಕ ಹಂದಿಗೂ ಕಡಿಮೆ."

                            ಸರ್ವಜ್ಞ

 

Willing to be a Sober

Thinking of Going to an AA Meeting? Here Are a Few Tips

So, you’ve been asked to attend some AA meetings. Or you want to attend some AA meetings. You are probably wondering what to expect. Unless you’ve been to AA before, then perhaps you may think you know what to expect. But, luckily, every AA meeting is a little different. That means you can lay aside your expectations and just enjoy the experience.

How to find an AA Meeting. The oldest way is to look in the phone book, under Alcoholism. No matter where you are in the world, you’ll find a listing for Alcoholics Anonymous. On the Internet search “AA meetings in (your city).” On your smart phone, search for applications under the topics “AA Meetings” or “12 Step Recovery.”

Open or Closed? If you believe you’re alcoholic, try a “closed” meeting, as they are for alcoholics only. If you’re unsure about your status, try an “open” meeting. The most important thing is to GO! It’s really recommended you try about eight meetings before you make a decision about whether or not AA is for you.

Do I have to talk? No. Every AA group is different; however, they all essentially operate the same. You may or might not be asked to share or talk. It’s definitely ok to pass. You don’t have to announce yourself as an alcoholic or share anything unless you want to. It’s helpful to arrive at the meeting a little early, that way you can get a seat and not draw too much attention to yourself as a newcomer. The folks that are early to meetings are usually pretty sturdy AA members; they come early to set up and welcome people just like you. The people you meet will help you adjust to how the meeting works and what to expect. Just tell them you’re new to AA, and that this is your first meeting.

What to bring. The most important thing to bring along is an open mind. It helps to bring a little willingness too. Listening is the best gift you can bring almost anywhere. If you listen in on an AA meeting, often you will be able to identify with or relate to folks who are talking. Of course you can bring a friend in case you’re nervous or scared, but unless your friend is an alcoholic, it’s best to go to an open meeting. Bring a dollar bill (or two) for the donation basket. It’s customary in AA to pay the rent by passing a collection basket. This usually happens about half way through the meeting.

Try to remember that everyone in the room had been new to AA just like you. They all had to find their way to their first AA meeting, they all had to ask questions and feel a little uncomfortable.

Do I have to stay for the whole meeting? No. But if you can, try and stay for the entire meeting. If you can’t, if you’re just too uncomfortable or perhaps too emotional, it’s definitely ok to leave. Be polite, try and wait for a pause in people’s sharing before you exit. Try to remember that everyone in the meeting is really there to carry a message of hope to you and are wanting to offer their support to someone new to AA just like you.