Changing my philosophy after 40 years

 

 

I used to think that if I prepare for all the negative and disappointment I will not be shocked and sadden if it happens. I would say that figures. If good happens, it will be a pleasant; I am living proof that someone can completely turn their life around with positive thinking. I suffered from depression most of my life. I had hit rock bottom and through faith in God, positive thinking, and my friend , I have completely turned my life around. I have friends and family who are the best.

I believe positive thinking is something very important in human life. Because without positive thinking humans would not achieve extraordinary things, so how can we remain positive thinking?
I believe positive thinking doesn't come naturally. However, it something we can build it through practice. By just focusing what we want to achieve. Not only one time, but all time, And let us remind ourselves that, what your eyes can see is Limited, but what your heart can see is Limitless.
I believe we all revisit bad situations throughout life so they may be resolved. If we have not confronted our fear within a particular situation, it will be revisited time and again until we have gained the insight and trust in ourselves to face the fear of our 'true selves'. Observing the truth through the eyes of others can be a frightening experience and one we may choose to deny. However, by rejecting that person for our strengths or weaknesses, we all also turning away from ourselves.
A positive individual is someone who can face both the good and bad within themselves, and instead of projecting these qualities onto others, they can work on changing the bad, yet share with others all that is good within themselves. Positive and truthful communication brings people together to share the good and makes for a more rewarding life.
If you can't find it, look to the support group in your life. know in your heart that every trial is a test that can only make you a stronger individual in our life race...I try thinking positive when negative situations arise, although sometimes I tend to think negative and this has affected me even in my decision making. That's when I think negatively. But when I think positively even in bad situation, I find myself making good and healthy decisions.

Positive thinking is possible indeed to all human beings. For instance, if someone may win 1, 000, 000, /- it’s easier for them to rejoice all day long and remain more positive than ever. This is a proof that we all have positive attitude. My opinion is, even when good things don't happen; always we can train our mindset to remain positive because we have deposits of greatness inside us to help us cope with any situation. My take is that God has blessed us all with power to counter any situation e.g.; when a person has a cut on the skin, with time it heals a prove that a human body is indeed capable to overcome. So positive thinking is a free choice which GOD has given us so anyone who chooses to be positive can indeed be. It's not that easy to switch to positivity at once because at times life is so hard, but it's important to try being positive because that's the only way u can favor yourself during hard times and remain strong. So friends, be confident, avoid blaming yourself.
My first step to positive thinking was to reconsider my priorities. Second step - care less what others think about you. Third step - once in a while, NOT EVERY DAY, please yourself with things that you gave up in a first step. These way things will be more pleasant and you will appreciate them more. You will be happier. Yes now My belief is that we are born into this world for a purpose and that purpose is to leave something good behind that is helpful to mankind. Whether it is to plant a tree so others can eat or to dig a well so starving children can drink water. The truth is that when you give to others in any manner you will have true happiness in your life. Positive attracts positive and negative attracts misery.

We are born into a world to work and do what is good not leave a legacy of evil and destruction. In the end, only true kindness matters and that is the light that we will find on the other side. Whatever obstacles you find in your way should only make you stronger and strive to be better. We must see the sunshine behind the clouds; we must help others stand on their own two feet. It is your legacy, so define it, write your own ending and leave something that has your name etched in time.
This is a very very important question. If every day one person is started to ask herself or himself, they would start to overcome their negatives even though the social forces stops to them. That means sometimes social habits will suppress your emotions to express freely and positively, so a positive thinker always struggles. But they enjoy the fruit if they have enough patience to receive the real juice of positivism. I try to always be grateful no matter what, even when something makes me sad I try to look for the good in it all. I'm not saying it's easy, but it helps me keep from feeling sorry for myself. Everything we do everyday of our life can be processed and perceived as a lesson. IF you look at things as a lesson you typically try and take the positive out of it (typically-not always). If you are someone that can relate to like Debbie-the-downer type of perspective and looking at things as lessons doesn't work than you need to try and relearn things that you find amusing or fun. This will reset your negative mindset of learning and you can try the positive thought by learning again.

If a situation warrants being sad over, grieve and give the situation its emotional due process. Then search for your situtation on the internet and try adding worst, funny and happy to your search box. Read the stories you find to gain perspective and hope. Finally, seach for best stand up ever on youtube and laugh for a while to get the good chemicals moving around in your brain. If a depression has set in I will write down what and who I am grateful for at the end of the day. Go for a walk. Make a plan of action, even if you don't follow it, it may make you feel better to know you have options. Oh, and keep acurate score. If you find yourself focusing on the one thing you didn't do right, make sure to write down all the things you did do right. Fairs fair.
I Believe in looking at things the way they are, whether negative or positive. If you expect the best in things, you will often be disappointed. I think that instead of trying to look at things in the best light like an optimist, or the worst light like a pessimist, you should look at them as they really are.

I believe that things be it good or bad happen to me because I am there to be shaped by them. As the saying goes "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going and the weak drop out". Even if it is hard to think like that we can be shaped by bad things or negative things that happens to us. Yes, I am a very positive thinker. Though I admit I do tend to have my negative thoughts, and when I do I remind myself of what I have. I remind myself of how I'm a kind hearted person with friends and a loving family and intelligent.

Everyone is born to die! That doesn't mean that we can kill ourselves! Suicide is common these days. Pessimists who find it difficult to face hardships, are bold enough to kill themselves rather than facing the situation boldly. They have to understand that everyone is born in a trouble-filled world, which is naturally covered with darkness. God had to create the sun and the moon to remove this darkness. Likewise, sorrow is in everyone's life, by default. It is the optimistic thought that removes these sorrows and brings in joy, happiness & peace. The first thing that a new born does is to cry. This doesn't mean that it has to cry for everything till death. A pessimist knows only to cry or ultimately die unnaturally but an optimist tries to find out different ways to come out of it, be happy & content even if it is the smallest thing in the world. An optimist not only survives these hardships by keeping himself happy but also helps in spreading this happiness & boldness around to all.

Yes, I do think that I am a positive thinker. Really, the bottle is NOT half empty and half full. It's completely full, only you have to want to see it in this way.

What is Addiction?

What is Addiction?

If say in one sentence anything taken to an extreme can became an Addiction.
First off all let’s have a look at the types of Addictions/substance abuses.
The following list of addictions is just a partial list.

 

Addictions List

A - Addictions beginning with A

Alcohol

 

A common addiction which seems acceptable in social situations! But is very progressive?

Also a sugar addiction as alcohol and sugar are similar in chemical makeup and synthesize in the body in similar ways.

A depressant type drug which leads to very complicated and repetitive depressions.

Aspirin

Usually acceptable for small pains and fevers and taken in small dosages for heart health, Excesses of intake leads to Addiction, are not good.

Aerosol sniffing

Action - any activity that is risky and produces adrenalin

Adrenalin

The body self produces this 'fight or flight' drugs. Does progressive need greater risks to achieve the same feeling?

Amphetamines, Anti Depressants

Addiction to prescribed medications is quite common, because a series of educated professionals have been involved in the process of this addiction it is quite hard to stop.

Often depressions occur as a result of caffeine, nicotine, alcohol and/or sugar addictions. These root addictions need to be addressed to achieve good recovery.

Anti Depressants generally are designed to trigger the release of a self produced hormonal drug called serotonin which is the feel good drug produced by the body. The addiction to the anti depressant is actually an addiction to the self produced drug serotonin. Good recovery will include ways to naturally trigger the serotonin. One way of doing this is included in the 12 step way of recovery - particularly in the 12th step - by doing random acts of kindness.

Art

Getting high to produce better art is common. Also the lifestyle of an impoverished artist can be addictive.

Collecting art one can not afford may create adrenalin like compulsive shopping or gambling.

Asthma

A condition that is often worsened by the addiction to the rescue medication

Adrenalin is produced when the asthmatic fights for the next breath to the point where life threatening experiences become regular and no longer cause the body to produce the required adrenalin.

Attention

Authority

Auto Racing

B - Addictions beginning with B

Bulimia

Purging excess calories from a binge by vomiting or over exercising the actual addiction is to the eating part…Often sugar addiction.

Barbiturates

A common drug addiction

Betting

Gamblers get a high from the adrenalin produced by their bodies while in action. The larger the risk the greater the amount of adrenalin Bestiality

Sex with animals to produce adrenalin and endorphins present in sex situations. Carries a great deal of guilt and shame in today's religious society

Guilt and shame also produces addictive adrenalin directly in the body.

C - Addictions beginning with C

Colas

Many soft drinks contain large amounts of addictive sugar and caffeine which create mood swings and may be diagnosed as polar or other manic behavioral disorders.

Sugar assimilates in the body the same way alcohol does and is a strong depressant.

Symptoms of sugar addiction are often heavy depressions and manic behavior.

Codependency

An adrenalin addiction caused by living in chaos

Codependents will often force crisis to get another supply of adrenalin

Codependents often hide their more socially acceptable addictions behind another persons addictions

All addicts are co dependents as well

Cocaine and Crack Cocaine

A common powerful and illegal street drug High is produced from the drug and as well the illegal activity produces adrenalin

Caffeine

Produces a high when coffee, tea, soft drinks or chocolate are consumed

Usually socially acceptable but it is progressive and the body requires more drug to get same feeling over time

Usually combined with sugar for an even greater high

Like any high the resulting lows are present and cause severe depressions and mood swings

Coin collecting

Usually a nice hobby but any hobby can become a compulsion in the hands of a multiple addict Expensive and can produce a gamblers adrenalin high by overestimating the value of finds

Adrenalin is addictive and progressive so greater finds must be made.

Crime

Pure adrenalin in its highest form when life or reputation is threatened Addictive in those higher risks must be taken to achieve the same high.Very difficult cycle to interrupt as punishments also produce life threatening experiences which keep the addiction going.

Coffee

Produces a caffeine high when consumed Usually socially acceptable but it is progressive and the body requires more drug to get same feeling over time Usually combined with sugar for an even greater high

Like any high the resulting lows are present and cause severe depressions and mood swings Depressions associated with coffee addictions are often misdiagnosed and simply add heavy medications to the addicts’ life.

Withdrawal from caffeine is about four days of flue like symptoms which is relatively short if cut out completely and compared to years of taking anti depressants.

D - Addictions beginning with D

Drugs

Illegal Street drugs produce various highs as well as adrenalin highs associated with illegal activities. Prescription drugs for depression related disorders often medicate symptoms when the root causes may be simple sugar and caffeine addictions

Many over the counter drugs contain large amounts of sugar as well which add to depressions and manic behaviors Some medical drugs are helpful of course.

Drunk Driving

Adrenalin high produced by the high risk illegal activity of drinking and driving. Extremely high risk as life is usually at stake.

Diuretics

Eating disorder associated addiction Produces adrenalin which gives a feeling of power over ones self

E - Addictions beginning with E

Ego

You name it!

Exercising (excessive)

Adrenalin and endorphins produced Addictive and progressive in that more exertion must be accomplished to achieve the same high

Endorphins

A healthy drug produced in the body and brain Unhealthy sex, porn, crime, gambling and exercise addictions are symptoms of this basic drug addiction

F - Addictions beginning with F

Fantasizing (excessive) as opposed to dreaming,

Food addiction

Usually associated with the results of cravings caused by sugar addiction Artificial sweeteners are appetite enhancers and cause huge cravings Excessive food can act as dull feelings

Fetishes

Adrenalin addiction caused by self created adrenalin induced by the fear or fantasy

G - Addictions beginning with G

Gambling

Gamblers get a high from the adrenalin produced by their bodies while in action. The larger the risk the greater the amount of adrenalin

H - Addictions beginning with H

Heroin and Opium

Husbands/Wives (relationships),

I - Addictions beginning with I

Isolation, Imagination

A good characteristic in most cases, but a luxury for an early recovering addict ... and a self destructive minefield for a practicing addict Living in "your head" is common amongst all addicts

One statistic is that addicts do approximately 80,000 words of self talk per day - so this addicted ' head ' is a very busy place One saying in 12 step programs is that the head is like 'a dangerous neighborhood, do not go there alone' The lack of reliable structure in today's daily life leaves a lot of room for imaginative research

Internet

Many addictions are available on the internet Sex, Porn, gambling, relationships to name a few Most porn and gambling activities produce adrenalin which is highly addictive.

J - Addictions beginning with J

Joking about serious matters

Hiding behind humor is usually a codependent family behavior

Job (workaholism)

An addiction to the controllable living space afforded by work Provides the endorphins associated with being appreciated Junk collecting

K - Addictions beginning with K

Kinky sex - see sex addiction below

Kleptomania

A form of adrenalin addiction where a high is produced by the illegal act of theft

L - Addictions beginning with L

Lust

Laziness

Love

Lacquer thinners

Liquor

M - Addictions beginning with M

Masturbation

Masochism,

Meetings (as in hiding in meeting)

Men

Marriage

Muscle Relaxants

Marijuana

N - Addictions beginning with N

Nicotine

Narcotics

O - Addictions beginning with O

Over achieving

Over eating

Usually affiliated with sugar addiction

Over working

Over anything can become an addiction

Occult

P - Addictions beginning with P

Prayer (without action)

Pleasure

Phobias

Blocked energy due to overwhelmed or unidentifiable feelings which produce 'fight or flight' adrenalin within the body sometimes caused by unresolved grief

Abusive situations may also be a phobia breeding ground as family or others who should be trusted are not trustworthy leaving gaps in an individual’s structure system.

Prescription Drugs

Addiction or dependence upon prescribed medications. Commonly, though not always, is within the mood modifying drug family. Giving up the long dependencies on prescribed drugs is best done with the help of medical professionals and sometimes requires a detoxification facility to ease unpredictable withdrawal symptoms

Pornography

People Pleasing

Perfectionism

Pain Killers

Q - Addictions beginning with Q

Quintessential Behavior (perfectionism)... sorry had to have aQ :)

R - Addictions beginning with R

Religion

It is wise to examine ones attitudes in all areas. Relationships - Click here for relationships page Racetrack betting and action

Risky behaviors

Sports or work related high risk ventures Adrenalin addiction caused by receiving large doses of self produced adrenalin

S - Addictions beginning with S

Sex Addiction

In abusive or negative forms sex can be an adrenalin addiction caused by receiving large amounts of self produced adrenalin

Adrenalin addiction is a progressive addiction where exciting events become usual and greater excitement must be reached to produce the same high.

This is dangerous when sex acts are used to produce the adrenalin as abusive situations may occur

Sexuality is often confusing and care must be taken to not block sexual energy, which is necessary to achieve a positive energy flow through the body.

Sadism

Adrenalin addiction caused receiving self produced adrenalin in a slave /master situation Common in codependent relationships

Satanism

Adrenalin addiction caused by receiving large doses of self produced adrenalin leading up to and during highly charged rituals or ceremonies

In extreme cases where sacrificial ceremonies occur the adrenalin is increased by ingesting still more highly concentrated adrenalin found in blood of freshly sacrificed animal.

The combined high is often thought to be spiritual when it is actually double dosing on adrenalin

Smoking

Addiction to nicotine and other addictive substances present in tobacco, marijuana, cocaine, opium and other sources

The smoked substances also sometimes include other hidden addictive substances to make them an even larger rush and a more marketable product.

Shopping

Serotonin - the self produced drug of choice for manic depression and bipolar folks

SELF – ego

Self Help Books, programs

Self Mutilation

Spotlights (see fame)

Sniffing Solvents

Sleeping

Sleeping Pills

Shock Treatments

Speed

Steroids

T - Addictions beginning with T

Torturing - emotionally or physically - Power addiction

Television

Therapy - codependency as opposed to getting on with life.

Thinners

Thrills

Tobacco

Tramadol

Tranquilizers

Travel

Trichotillomania - Pulling out own hair compulsively.

U - Addictions beginning with U

Ultram - Narcotic Like Pain Reliever aka Tramadol Underachieving

V - Addictions beginning with V

Valium

Vandalism

Vicodin - watch some old shows of the series "House!"

Video

Video Games

Violence

Voodoo

Vomiting - see Bulimia

Voyeurism

W - Addictions beginning with W

Wealth

Weed

Weightlifting

Women

Work

Wheat Flour – Carbohydrates

X - Addictions beginning with X

X-box - see Gaming

XXX Movies and Magazines

Y - Addictions beginning with Y

Young Sex

Z - Addictions beginning with Z

Zoo sex (sex with animals)

 

This addictions list excerpt is adapted from the writings of Addictionz.com. Concerning anger and addiction, to Help to identify causes like Adrenalin and endorphins associated with high risk behaviors, Help to establish a effective support group to assist with arresting this behavior, Help to establish a workable time frame to achieve the goal of stopping drinking and driving, Helpful Hints on how to Grieve the loss of this behavior, Help to maintain the ability to not drink/do Drugs.

This list of addictions is provided as a reference for multiple addicts to allow them to more quickly realize the full extent of their dependencies.

Not all addicts will be addicted to the same things, many blends, combinations and permutations will exist simultaneously with the multiple addict. As well, all addictions usually start with a positive result but end up becoming a commitment in themselves.

Now the brief description of the first question,

What is Addiction?

Addiction is, by its very nature, a wily opponent. Ask any compulsive gambler, an adrenalin addict whose addictive chemicals are entirely self produced, if they wanted to lose the 'entire farm' to get their high from gambling. The answer will typically be a very sad no.The body will do some very tricky things to get the chemicals it craves, including rearranging thought and emotional processes.

Hence an anxiety attack can sometimes be 'conjured up' by the body to gain access to the drug dosage from both the self produced drug adrenalin and the prescribed medication, alcohol or street drug.

Since effects of a conjured up anxiety attack are exactly the same effects as an authentic one, the difference between the two is not important.

The drugs are the same in both instance and the withdrawal cycle repeats itself by enabling more anxiety symptoms. Simply recognizing the possibility of the above statements sheds an entirely new light on the concept of addiction.

Is it entirely symptomatic?

Definitely not! But the recovery process is definitely confused and hampered by the roadblocks that the addiction and withdrawal cycles introduce to the equation. Especially since they are very often unnoticed

Ok let’s see what fuels to Addiction?

Addiction/compulsivity in many ways, several of the relationships between anger and addiction are listed below.

1. Acting-out in addiction can be passive-aggressive way of “getting back” at somebody else.

2. Unresolved anger toward a parent, spouse, perpetrator of violence/abuse can “fuel” destructive impulses within the addiction.

3. Being passive with anger fuels shame, which in turn fuels addiction.

4. Intense anger can distort rationale though processes allowing decisions to be made that set one up for relapse

5. Anger combined with being in a victim role can lead to “destructive entitlement” in which one feels justified in victimizing somebody else (cheating on spouse, verbally assaulting somebody, going through partner’s notebook from therapy, etc.).

6. Anger can be an emotional wall, which inhibits intimacy, which can result in loneliness and therefore, an impulse to act out.

7. Anger can result in a disinhibition of moral values allowing one to engage in addictive behaviors he/she otherwise would not consider doing (e.g. going to a topless bar), resulting in a need to “stir up the pot” of conflict/anger to silence the part of self that says “don’t do this, it isn’t right!”

8. Fear of another person’s anger can result in the avoidance of conflict and turning to the addiction for a means of escaping the negative consequences of unresolved conflict.

9. Fear of one’s own anger or the belief anger is “bad”, can result in the use of the addiction to avoid the experience of anger, or to avoid becoming aggressive.

10. Anger used to assertively set boundaries, allows for the development and maintenance of healthy self-esteem and true intimacy, which are crucial for recovery.

11. Anger directed at the messages and behaviors that led to shame, fear, and modeling of destructive coping mechanisms, can result in a rejection of those beliefs/behaviors and a true healing of related emotional wounds.

12. Anger expressed openly/honestly/assertively within relationships can allow for a deeper intimacy to emerge, allowing addiction to become “less necessary.”

Is Addiction Recovery Possible?

Yes of course, It is tremendously gratifying on so many levels to watch a dejected, lost soul emerge from their drugged cocoon and morph spiritually into a productive member of society capable of living within a renewed belief system. These folks, if they tend to their recovery properly and continue to put good things into their lives, will eventually even be able to be spiritually present in relationships as well.

Often their addictions started when they were very young, so much maturing will be necessary. The process is uphill though and is very gratifying. This site is meant to give assistance and hope to folks who have been encountering roadblocks in their recovery.

True addiction recovery lies in the ability to deal with root issues, not simply medicate the symptoms of them."

You do not have to carry yesterday's hurt and damaged feelings into today.

A fresh supply of new feelings is yours for the taking!

"There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path!"

A great tool for Addictions and Relationship Counselors Use it yourself as part of your Step 4 or to find yourself in a muddled up codependent relationship

The cycle of Addiction and Codependency with alcoholics or any other type of addict requires three main people/groups of people:

The Enablers:

Those who allow /excuse/ finance/ bailout the alcoholic/addict.

The Persecutors:

Those who stir up the pot in order to put the alcoholic/addict on the defense and look for a way out of the pain.

The Victims:

Those who wallow in the excuse that someone is abusing/picking on/insulting/not recognizing their good qualities.

In the normal cycle of addicted relationships the enablers, the persecutors and the victims occupy all these roles at various times and to varying degrees - the fact that all persons switch roles makes it very difficult to assess anything until a crisis occurs.

There are currently over 1000 different self help organizations, some undoubtedly more effective than others. Most do not have fees but may pass the kitty for a few coins to help them pay room rent etc. Consult your local telephone directory to or contact your local crisis line, check community listings or ask your doctor for a recommendation. If all else fails call a local AA office, they can usually point you in the right direction.

Addiction Recovery cases vary according to the type and source of the addiction. What ever the addiction the fastest way to a solid recovery is by using a slow and steady approach.

An addiction is described as a three fold disease.

Chemical

Emotional

Spiritual

The recipe for great recovery from addiction requires a balance of physical and emotional abstinence, a pinch of spiritual growth and a 1/2 a cup of common sense:

Keep in contact with people who have good recovery. Even the saints/scientists’  has advisors so why wouldn't you.

Take advantage of all proper recovery assistance that is available to you.

Attend and get involved with 12 step meetings on a regular basis, if you don't like the group you are at, try another. For fledgling 12 step members an open AA meeting is always helpful.

Watch for other addictions. If your recovery isn't going too well, the chances are good that you may have additional addictions in action. It is also very common for recovering addicts to simply switch addictions. Find positive addictions.

Look after the little things, the big things always will look after themselves!

Emotional Maintenance

“Defrag” your brain and clear out the old emotional files (e-files): Write a wish list and keep it in a safe place.

Write an accomplished this year list and keep it in a safe place.

Use a time management tool of some sort and clear out the accomplishments at the end of each day, more often on especially cluttered days. Credit yourself for all accomplishments

Write a jot list of your current feelings at any given moment, make sure you are not feeling someone else's feelings or putting your feelings in politically correct categories. Throw this list away as you get fresh new feelings every day, no need to hang on to the old damaged ones.

Write a list of recovery goals that you would like to achieve and keep it in a safe place.

Archive your past memories and associated feelings by collecting all the photos you have or can acquire about your life to date, put them in order in a photo album. This can free up a great amount of space in your personal operating memory and allow you to go forward in your recovery, quicker.

 

Five simple rules of happiness:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

 

5 Stages of Grief
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Non-Acceptance

Best Wishes on your recovery journey.