Friday, November 22, 2013

Don’t be fooled by me at least not by The mask I wear




Don’t be fooled by me, Don’t be fooled by the face I wear,For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks---Masks that I’m afraid to take off…..
And none of them are me. Pretending is an art that’s second nature with me, But don’t be fooled, for God’s sake, don’t be fooled. I give you the impression that I’m secure,That all is sunny and unruffled with me…within as well as without, That confidence is my name And coolness my game,That the water’s calm And I’m in command, And that I need no one. But don’t believe me. PLEASE!
My surface may be smooth but my surface is my mask. My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me confusion, in fear, in aloneness,
 
But I hide this I don’t want anybody to know it,
I panic at thought of my weaknesses
And fear exposing them,
That’s why I frantically create my masks to hide behind.
They’re nonchalant, sophisticated facades to help me pretend.
To shield for me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation,
My only salvation, And I know it.
That is if it’s followed by acceptance,
And if it is followed by love,
It’s the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
From my own self-built prison walls.
I dislike hiding honestly.
I dislike the superficial game I’m playing.
The superficial phony game.
I’d really like to be genuine and me.
But I need your help, your hand to hold,
Even though my masks would tell you otherwise.
The glance from you is the only thing that assures me.
Of what I can’t assure myself,
That I’m really worth something.
But I don’t tell you this I don’t dare I’m afraid to
I’m afraid you’ll think less of me that you’ll laugh
And your laugh would kill me
I’m afraid that deep down I’m nothing that I’m just no good
And you will see this and reject me.
So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game
With a facade of assurance without
And a trembling child within
So begins the parade of masks,
And my life became a front
I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that’s nothing,
Of what’s crying within me
So when I’m going through my routine
Do not be fooled by what I’m saying
Please listen carefully and try to hear
What I’m not saying.
Hear what I’d like to say
But what I cannot say
It will not be easy to you
Long felt inadequacies make my defense strong
The never you approach me
The blinder I may strike back
Despite with books say of men, I am irrational;
I fight against the very thing that I cry out for
You wonder who I am
You shouldn’t
For I am every man
And every women
Who wears a mask.

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